Understanding autistic meltdowns for autism acceptance month
The only way people learn about the autistic experience is to live it or to share it with others. It is autism acceptance month, so let’s talk about adult autistic meltdowns. We are autistic. We experience meltdowns. We experience panic and sensory overload even though we are an adult.
Our experience as an autistic adults has helped us learn not to be ashamed. Accepting autism means accepting yourself as autistic.
Being autistic doesn’t go away when you hit the age of adulthood. It is a neurotype, it can be disabling, it is not viewed by all as disability, but either way…if you are autistic you understand that meltdowns are intense and disabling.
“Meltdowns tend to be triggered by sensory overload, communication issues, and/or social situations. People who experience meltdowns tend to describe them as a complete loss of control …”— Claire Jack PhD, Psychology Today
Sometimes your mind is more exhausted than your body. You want to keep moving forward, but your mind tells you to stop. This is what autistic burnout looks like. A battle between exhaustion and energy. Becoming mentally exhausted will win and lead to meltdowns.
Meltdowns are often attributed to children. However, autistic adults experience the same symptoms. It is a misconception that autistic meltdowns will only happen to children.
This misconception is based on the idea that a meltdown is a tantrum. An autistic meltdown is not a fit or a behavioral problem. It is the autistic brain that is wired differently than the neurotypical mind.
Meltdowns can be traumatic
A meltdown can be panic attacks, mutism, stimming like rocking, or in some cases self-harm. This self-harm is not a mental health issue. It is what happens when the autistic brain freezes up. Headbanging, chewing, and slapping are actually common for autistic people of all ages to experience.
No matter the age, an autistic person will experience a meltdown.
How to support and be an ally
Everyone is different whether autistic or not. Some people use sensory tools to calm, isolated rooms or blankets. Sometimes the closet with noise-canceling headphones and the lights turned off is the best option.
Asking the autistic person “how can I help” may be pointless. During a meltdown, an autistic person may not verbalize needs. Even when you are not in a meltdown it is hard to explain what you need from others.
The best way to be an ally is to make a plan before the meltdown. On a good day, sit down with the autistic person in your life and talk about options.
Discussing your sensory needs in with a clear mind and a calm environment helps you plan for a meltdown.
Prepare before the meltdown
Talk about how the meltdown will look so the people in your life are prepared. A meltdown can be scary for onlookers. Safety planning is of the utmost importance no matter how your meltdowns look.
If you will be nonverbal during your meltdown, make a communication plan with safe people. The neurotypical people in your life will be the best ally to support you and assist you with communicating.
It is good to have a safety plan on file with the local authorities for emergencies.
Accepting the meltdown
A meltdown means it’s time to slow down. Focus on sensory and anxiety management to help prevent a meltdown. Honestly, the meltdown may not be preventable. That is okay!
Meltdowns are a part of being autistic. You may feel shame, but a meltdown is not shameful.
Accept yourself.
Accept your needs.
Accept that a meltdown will happen.
Just remember to love yourself and do not let the meltdown define your sense of self-worth.
Tas The Artist 
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