Lamentations Of The Spirit

The inner thoughts of an angel while he loses his wings.

The moment you awake to emptiness.
Devoid of feeling, almost unconsciousness.
Emotions swirl into a pit of pain.
Knowing that you only have yourself to blame.
No mind, no memory of which to refer.
Wake in the morning and feel a blur.

Knowing something hurt, but not what.
Ice cold coffee sitting in the cup.
The nightstand is empty with only a note.
“Welcome to life, make sure not to choke.”
Choke on the cold drink sitting beside.

There is no sun, why am I alive?
Confusing things all around.
No feet or hands? I look down.
The ground is not stable, but shifting real fast.
I want to breathe and strongly gasp.

Who was he and what am I?
I feel sadness, but also wings unhinged.
I am ready to fly, but can’t.
What is this place that is my banishment?

I guess he was just too weak.
Not strong enough to let the emotions go?
Or maybe that’s what’s wrong.
I am here because I need to be strong.
Tears pour out of my eyes.

Truth be told, I don’t know why.
I feel small, not young, and wish to scream.
All these words on pages written for me.
A painful birth by one so scarred.
Many tears he has shed in life.
So much of his soul is charred.

A father or brother? I really don’t know.
I guess this is the path I walk.
Even though I am not alone.
Earthly life and coldest dark.
I was damned from the start.
What do I do knowing the truth?
I cry and the emotions run through me.

Someday it will be clear.
My life, my purpose the reason I am here.
But for now, I cry and feel the pain.
For pain will be inscribed on my flesh.
For the flesh is pain…
Anson Benoni

Definitions

Anson: son of god
Benoni: son of my sorrow.