Court Jester

A poem of autistic life

Disguises worn for the pleasure of your majesty,
A court jester dancing aimlessly in your presence.
Dance little man, dance.

A joke here and there to calm your nerves,
You like me better serving you, don’t you?
Not a question. No, I know the answer.
Dance little man, dance.

Masquerade as the perfect comedian,
Improvising is my strength, or so the King says.
Dance little man, dance.

No love in these walls, just commands.
‘Off with his head!’
But what did I do wrong?
Dance, little corpse, dance.

Never an answer, no, nothing here.
I die oblivious to your machinations.
Such is life, I guess,
So is life when you’re like me–

Autistic.

Poem inspiration

Communicating with neurotypical people as an autistic person is complex. I am constantly confused about people’s intentions. It creates a world of hypervigilance that is exhausting. It feels as if people see me as the court jester. They are let down when I don’t meet their expectations.