Expert Voices Interviews
Each month a member of the disabled/neurodivergent community shares their story! Check out the latest interviews
Show notes/Transcript
(intro music)
Welcome. Welcome to the second episode of Tas Talks. This is your host Tas. We talk all things design, accessibility, and hopefully just add a rhyme in there. We have a good time. Today we are going to be doing an episode for Disability Pride Month. So strap in and let’s get into this.
Disability Pride Month is something that people sometimes don’t understand, and I want to shed some light on that. As a disabled professional, too often I’m inundated with comments of why are you so happy to be disabled? And it comes from a place of ignorance, and it comes from a place of ableism, right? That’s why people say these things, and that is because society has taken disability and historically rejected it.
It is rejected. And that is why people have this point of view. Now I want to talk a little bit about what disability pride means to me. And I wanted to add a disclaimer here. This is my opinion. This is based on my personal lived experience. This is not going to be the same for other people in the disabled community.
So please don’t take what I say here and try to paste it onto other people, because that is not the point of this. Everyone is different. Period. Okay. I grew up in a Christian fundamentalist cult. Very restricted. Lots of abuse that occurred. And one of the things that was rejected in this environment was disability. Now you’re taught to help other people that are disabled, but if you have a disability, that is not acceptable.
It’s viewed by some as a punishment. The amount of times I have been told, like if you pray more, or “oh, you must have this problem or that problem and that would take care of this for you.” It is just rejected, right? It’s just rejected. So I grew up hating myself for various reasons. I was stubborn and I would never conform to what was expected of me, which I think is what saved me from being in that environment and why I was able to escape that.
But at the same time, I had to learn to accept myself and love myself. And it isn’t loving myself despite being disabled. It’s loving myself because I’m disabled. I have limitations and that’s okay. I have differences and that’s okay. Society rejects those differences. And you know what? Okay. I don’t have to reject myself just because others reject me.
And that’s what disability pride is for me. It is the celebration of accepting myself for myself, no matter what external sources are saying. And I think that it is a mindset that has helped me grow as a person, has helped me be able to function in this world that is completely against disability. Historically speaking, as an autistic person, that is something that is always on the agenda.
The eradication of autism is always on the agenda and I am glad I’m an adult. I’m glad I’m a childless adult because it is very difficult to have neuro-affirming environments for autistic people. I think if you take anything away from Disability Pride Month, it’s to look outside yourself. Don’t wait for your disability to happen. Anyone can join the disabled community at any moment.
You don’t have to be autistic. You could be in a car accident and now you’re disabled. You can have a stroke and now you’re disabled. You could have a heart attack and now you’re disabled. These things are not just what you’re born with. They can happen to anyone at any moment. And yet people reject it despite it. They reject it.
And I think that as a society, the biggest barrier to disabled people are people. My disability doesn’t prevent me from doing certain things. It’s society that prevents it because of the refusal to make it accessible. So I think that if you’re not disabled, learn about the community. Start listening to the lived experiences of people. Start listening to the stories so you understand the perspective.
Because we live in a very egocentric society. Here in America specifically, we’re in a very egocentric society. It’s me, me, me all the time. But the problem is, it doesn’t leave room for you to see other people and what they may be going through. And instead of pitying it or patronizing it or infantilizing it, it’s just showing human decency and kindness and support.
I think of a time when I was walking across the street. This was a few years ago, but it stuck with me. Crossing the street at a crosswalk, there was a woman that’s a wheelchair user, and the road was terrible. It had this weird hill and cracks. It was just not the most pleasant crosswalk to be in.
She was struggling to get across. She got stuck in the middle of the road and I was getting ready to cross, and I was watching people walk past her like she’s invisible. Completely walking past. No acknowledgment. No nothing. And I stopped and I asked, “Would you like help getting across?” Because you ask, you don’t just do – you ask because it’s where people hide.
This is the disabled community kind, where people, by the way. And she said, yeah. So I helped her across the street. But no one, everyone just kind of zoned out, didn’t pay attention. And that’s the problem because the problem isn’t that she used a wheelchair. The problem is that she got stuck in the crosswalk. The problem is everyone was ignoring it.
And that is why we are where we are today.
Bystanders create just as much problem as those that actively try to do harm to the disabled community. Bystanders are just as bad when you stand by and do nothing and you could do something.
So for Disability Pride Month, I think my overarching message is: do better, be a better person. Don’t ignore things just because they make you uncomfortable. Don’t ignore things because you’re afraid you’ll do something wrong, or you’re afraid you’ll say something wrong, or you’re afraid you’ll offend someone. What’s offensive is how you ignore it. That’s offensive.
When I walk in to the doctor’s office and need an accommodation and I’m questioned why I need it because I don’t look disabled enough, or when I can’t communicate something clearly. And it’s like, “Well, you’re autistic, so no wonder you can’t.” Those are the problems that happen and you could do something about it. Start with accessibility. Start with humanizing people.
Ask questions. Learn. It’s better to learn than be ignorant. You’ll make more mistakes if you’re ignorant to it than if you just learn. And don’t make excuses for the ableism and the barriers. See, that day when this person was crossing the street, there’s no excuse for every person that walked by and ignored her. There’s no excuse for that.
I’m sure people would have plenty to say, but there is actually no excuse for that. It’s not okay. Treat people like people because you could be that person stuck in the crosswalk. You could be that person that needs an accommodation and is getting questioned. That could be you. That could be your family. So start caring now instead of waiting.
So disability pride for me, is loving myself in spite of everyone else. That’s what it is. No matter the barrier, no matter the ignoring of my needs, I’m okay with myself. So for Disability Pride, if you are a person that is a part of the disabled community, I see you. I see you. You’re doing what you can right now and that is enough.
And for those that are not part of the disabled community that are listening, I see you. Start being better. I’m not assuming that you’re doing anything wrong. I’m not assuming that you are a bystander, but there’s always something that you can do better. So don’t put it on the disabled community to meet your standards. You need to meet the standards that are required to treat a person as a human.
You lose your humanity every time you ignore it.
Okay, what an episode today. So if you enjoyed this episode, leave a like. Leave a comment. Drop a follow. You know the drill. I would like to add that this is for Disability Pride Month, and in the next podcast we’ll get back into design, accessibility and creative topics. But for now, I will bid you adieu – and have happy as much as possible.
Disability Pride Month.
(outro music)
References
Intro/Outro Music: Jamendo, POSITIVE-ENCOURGAING-LOFI-JAZZ-(ALL-YOURS)