I would like to give a warm welcome to filmmaker Izabelle Azevedo! Thank you for being a guest on this blog series. I know that your contributions and insights will be invaluable for the autistic and neurodivergent community. Let’s dive right in!
Introduction
Interviewer: Tas
Interviewee: Izabelle
Tas: If you are comfortable sharing, do you have a visible or invisible disability and how does this impact your work?
Izabelle: I have both cognitive and physical non-visible disabilities. I am Autistic and ADHD, and I have multiple chronic illnesses which have been impacting my line of work and daily life heavily lately. Among other things, my chronic illnesses make it difficult to endure walking and standing even for short periods of time, as well as to tolerate heat and humidity. As an Autistic ADHDer, I struggle a lot with executive functioning, and that has gotten worse since becoming chronic ill because the illness also affects us cognitively.
My job as a filmmaker required long hours, a lot of standing, and demanded constant cognitive effort on focus and communication. Even while sitting the circumstances became a bit impossible because the joint issues that require changing position and 24/7 pain that can vary from mild to extreme.
Because of my disabilities, I need several accommodations to be able to work, even from home, and even then I often can last about 6 hours max. But more often than not, this industry requires 10+ hours of work per day, which is not doable for me.
Tas: Oh wow, I imagine that the film industry is not disability friendly. Do you think they accommodate your needs?
Izabelle: Absolutely not. Honestly, it’s not accommodating for anyone. Any industry that glorifies hustle and disguises it as “passion” is contributing to keeping disabled folx out of it, while quite possibly leading to non-disabled individuals to risk developing or becoming disabled earlier in life. I would say for most neurodivergent and chronic ill folx, it’s not sustainable.
Tas: That sounds exhausting! I hear of the rigorous schedules involved with filmmakers. The limits that people expected to exceed at all times. It sounds overwhelming and I can imagine that physical demand is horrendous as a disabled professional. How did you land in the film industry?
Izabelle: I found my passion a bit late in life, but I went for it with everything I got. I was working and aspiring to grow as a visual storyteller. I started a videography and photography company, Red Skirt Media, at the beginning of 2019. I started it because I wanted to use the gift I discovered I have for storytelling to help other people tell their stories, and to tell stories that could maybe make the world a little better. I truly believe in the power of storytelling to change people’s perspective.
And in 2022 I started film school in hopes to expand and gain new skills in all parts of the filmmaking pipeline. I was interested in either being in the writer’s room or in post-production as an editor.
I am a skilled editor, and I really believed I had potential to go on to work in big studio movies and TV. For a while, my dream was to become a film editor at Pixar. I am currently working on different creative projects that I can do from home at my own pace, like mixed media and stop-motion animation, as well as writing and handcrafted illustrations.
Tas: I think all neurodivergent folks make adjustments to optimize their workload. Remote work is one of the best ways to do this! Working at your own pace and managing your executive functioning is just not possible in office settings most of the time. I know for me, working remotely has opened doors that never would have opened otherwise.
Disability is not the only barrier that can make workplaces terrible. As an openly Autistic, Disabled Latina Woman, what barriers have you faced that openly autistic people who are part of the majority, will not deal with?
Izabelle: The one barrier that really stands out to me is communication. As someone who was born and raised in a different culture and language, I think it’s a bit more difficult to navigate the neurotypical world when the unspoken rules you worked so hard to learn don’t really apply in the new culture you are in.
And many people also think my difficulties with communication are due to English not being my first language. But I am fluent in English, I can write and speak very well, and the problem is that I am Autistic, dyslexic, and I have cognitive issues due to my chronic illnesses that often impacts my ability to speak in any language. That assumption bothers me a lot.
Tas: The ethnocentric views that people harbor seem to be never ending. English, my spouse's second language, and people make similar assumptions when communication barriers happen. Although, it is also due to my spouse's neurodivergence.
The world’s perception of disability continues to evolve, not always in a good way. As you navigate the world, how has your perception of disability changed?
Izabelle: Because I discovered my neurodivergence at 34, I didn’t know my struggles were a disability, and I didn’t really know what being part of this group entailed beyond the labels. The more I learned about others’ experiences and paid attention to my own, the more I realized the role ableism, including internalized ableism, plays in our lives, and how important accessibility is.
Before becoming chronic ill, I believe my number 1 barrier was networking. When I started my first business in America, 10 years ago, I used to say “I hate networking.” I didn’t know I was Autistic back then, and I now know that what I dislike about networking is the small talk, the transactional feeling of it. It is definitely not a fit for my brain.
Eventually, I started learning to find network events that promoted connection. Now, I’d say my barrier is for people to understand that I have a dynamic disability, and that means I need a lot of flexibility around deadlines, calls, etc. People often don’t believe you when they can’t see your struggle somehow, and I don’t have time nor energy to prove myself to anyone anymore.
Tas: Let’s shift gears for a moment, I really want to talk about your new documentary “My New Normal,” what inspired this project?
Izabelle: Short answer? My own experience and my rage. The long answer is, I had an assignment at school where I needed to write a short documentary proposal, and I ended up writing about POTS after Covid. Through doing the research and learning about other patients’ experience, the rage I had inside me, because of medical providers and people in my own circle dismissing what I was going through, grew. So I had to take it out of the paper and do my best to show people how difficult, how life changing, a chronic illness can be.
Tas: In the documentary people spoke about the grieving process that happens when you have an invisible chronic illness - what does it mean to grieve your old life before a disability?
Izabelle: I would say it’s not much “life before a disability,” because disabilities aren’t made equal, right? This is actually something people in the Disability community don’t talk about enough. Someone with a visible disability has different challenges than mine, and those challenges might fluctuate, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t stable. With certain disabilities, especially chronic illnesses, day-to-day life can change significantly from one week to the other.
I had to change my life plans drastically. I had to change my hobbies. I even had to change my stims, the very mechanisms that helped me with emotional regulation had to change because of my chronic illness. A lot was thrown at me at once, and things keep changing. There are new issues, new symptoms, new accommodations, all that lead to new changes of plans and goals. So in this situation, I’m not grieving my old life before a disability because the new life is also changing more often than not. The grieving process feels like a constant loop at this point and something I just had to learn to live with.
Tas: People forget how much diversity is in disability. Too often, people are put into boxes of symptoms, but those are fluid. There is no such thing as a “one size fits all” disability. Even the word “disabled is stigmatized within the community. Why do you think the word “disabled” is perceived as a negative term within some parts of the neurodivergent and disability community?
Izabelle: I think those of us, like me, who were diagnosed later in life, might not understand that autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergences are disabilities perhaps because they think something like “oh, I lived all without accommodations, why would I consider myself disabled?” And they don’t know that this thought is coming from internalized ableism, which a lot of us have but aren’t willing to confront.
Tas: What advice would you give on confronting internalized ableism?
Izabelle: Confronting our inner demons isn’t easy, but it’s often necessary. I think having a skilled therapist who can help the person navigate those waters is important and can be really helpful.
Tas: Community is such an important thing, especially right now. How can the disabled community create safe online spaces of support without it becoming a toxic pool of negativity or a place of toxic positivity?
Izabelle: This is such a great yet tricky question. As someone with a very tiny online presence, but who’s been actively on social media for over a decade, I still find it challenging to keep that balance. I’d say to make it a practice to double check how what you’re sharing or consuming is making you feel, and then ask yourself if it’s worth sharing or engaging with it. It’s easier said than done, and it’s not a perfect practice, but it’s definitely one to keep in mind. And practice.
Tas: For all the creatives out there are neurodivergent/disabled and aspiring filmmakers, what advice would you give?
Izabelle: If you need accommodations, advocate for yourself from the start. I understand that it is hard to find a job, especially now, but if it’s a long term position and you get that job without advocating for your needs, chances are the job will end up being temporary because you will burnout, and either quit or get fired. I also understand that, for many of us, advocating is a privilege and I don’t take it lightly. But if you do have that privilege, know that making use of it will be beneficial not only to you, but also others that will come after you.
Tas: I agree! Thank you so much for interviewing. Let’s finish off with some lighter questions. What is your favorite book, movie or TV series?
Izabelle: Honestly, I don’t think I have one favorite of anything so I’ll list 5… For TV shows I’d say Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Fleabag, Schitt’s Creek, and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Movies are harder to say because I have so many that are dear to my heart, but my 5 today will be Everything Everywhere All At Once (I even made a video essay on why it’s the best representation of ADHD in cinema), Wall-E (love Pixar!), Cleo from 5 to 7 (Varda is one of my favorite filmmakers), Little Women by Greta Gerwig (I love all her films), and Wicked (to add a more recent favorite and say that I love musicals). Oh, and I might have a favorite book, actually, but I think it’s because I don’t really read much: The Little Prince.
Tas: The Big Bang Theory is one of my favorites as well! I am trying to think of a clever way to insert Bazinga into this interview, but I am failing terribly /lh.
Where can people find your work?
Izabelle: People can find me on LinkedIn as Izabelle Azevedo; Instagram I am on @RedSkirtMedia, @ChronicExpressions, and @MyNewNormalDoc; I’m also on Substack and YouTube.
I just started a publication on Substack where I’ll be sharing my thoughts and lessons on mental health, neurodivergence, identity, chronic illness, and being a human, + my explorations on using creative expression as self-care/regulation.
I’m also starting a mail club subscription where, once a month, I’ll be sending printed art and a letter that encourages reflection and using creative expression as self-care/regulation. You can find more info and sign up on this page here. And I’d like to thank you for the opportunity to share my views with your readers. I loved answering these questions, and I hope it’s helpful in some way.
Tas: Absolutely honored to have you on Expert Voices! Your story will help so many people in our community. Thank you for sharing your story!
Outro
This is an ongoing series that will post 1-2 times per month. If you enjoyed this interview, please share!
If you are interested in being interviewed in this series, please reach out via my contact form. Please note: I am only accepting requests from disabled and neurodivergent adults. If you are a parent or caretaker, I cannot accept your interview request.
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